The Universe and You
by nat300
Summary: Can the universe make right what has been deemed wrong? Can we recover from our misgivings and our personal demons as if they never occurred? Life can be tricky, and the universe can only make it worse. Arizona Robbins can attest to the statement. But what if we had a second chance? What if we could do it all over again? (Rated M for mostly language and implied themes)


**AN: Hey guys! So this is my first fix and I had this idea that I really wanted to just get out there. Just a little warning, there is going to be a topic regarding an attempt at suicide, so I wouldn't read this if anyone is sensitive to that particular topic. This story may seem a bit cliche from the beginning but is going in a totally different direction for what I have planned for future chapter so bear wit me. I don't have a Beta so I apologize for any mistakes in advance. Let me know what you guys think!**

* * *

The universe has a funny way of handling certain situations. Sometimes what is not real seems to appear more real than reality itself. It can bring good fortune, love and prosperity into one's life…or it could just completely fuck someone's life up. The universe is funny in that way, and as the result of several choices, life can be harder than one could even imagine. This domino effect will most likely fuck up everything you think you have going for you. Soon, questions like "What was my life supposed to be?" or "What if…?" plague the unfortunate soul that happened to be a victim of the universe's games. However, the real question does not involve a hypothetical scenario such as "What if…?" No…the universe is a mystery, because even though it can flip someone's life upside down, there is always a possibility that it can provide the means to right a wrong, like a second chance. The real question is…does the universe believe in second chances?

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"Derek's dead…"

Those words echoed in Arizona's head for the millionth time. Meredith's lifeless eyes flashed through her mind every time she heard that damn proclamation in her head for the past hour. How could Derek be dead. Derek Fucking Shepherd is dead. He survived a gunshot wound to the chest, a plane crash, and five long days in the woods only to get hit by a stupid mother fucking truck that came out of nowhere. She chuckled grimly. The irony of the situation was definitely not lost on her. Arizona couldn't stop thinking about the day her ex-wife and daughter were put in such horrible danger. There were too many horrible memories. They say the good should outweigh the bad, but Arizona was convinced the universe was against them…all of them.

It was one thing being separated from Callie in terms of their marriage, but its a whole other kind of fucked up when the person who you love the most in the world is gone forever. Then all you're left with is the faint reminder of the person that they used to be and a grieving family. Oh god…Zola and Bailey. They're going to have to grow up without their father. She feels a wave of nausea settle in the pit of her stomach.

"Shit, I think I'm going to be sick," she mutters to no one in particular.

It's the day after the funeral and Arizona's is drowning in her misery at Joe's. To the outside world, Derek and Arizona were not particularly close, but contrary to popular belief they are…were friends…good friends. The plane crash brought them closer. They survived through the impossible. As she thinks this, her anger resurfaces. He was supposed to live god dammit. A soft voice brings her out of her private musings.

"Arizona?"

She looks up to see grief ridden bluish gray eyes. Meredith.

"Hey…" she replies softly.

Neither of the woman seem to say a word, because words aren't necessary. They sit in silence as they contemplate the universe's cruelty and its uncanny ability to bring people together as a result of said cruelty.

Suddenly, the silence breaks when Meredith turns to Arizona with glistening eyes and asks, "Do you think we should have died out there?"

"Honestly, I don't know Meredith. I find myself wondering the same thing everyday."

"Do you think he's with Lexie and Mark up there?"

Arizona's heart stings as she listens to the other woman's questions. At least she is processing and not shutting everyone out completely.

"I think, wherever he is now, he is still looking after you. His love for you and Zola and Bailey will always remain constant, even though he's not physically with you anymore."

Meredith nods and gives her a small.

"I have to go get Zola and Bailey. Callie said she would watch them for a couple hours while I got away from everything for a little bit. Thanks for the talk Arizona, I'll see you at the hospital tomorrow?"

Arizona gently smiles and nods her confirmation. She watches Meredith's figure slowly shrink as she disappears from the bar. She turns back to her drink and decided that she's had enough alcohol for one night. Arizona flags down Joe to tell him that she's leaving. As she leaves the bar, she's suddenly overwhelmed with every memory, even emotion.

Timothy. Pain.

Carly. Heartbreak.

Nick. Sadness.

Gary Clark. Fear.

Africa. Regret.

Mark and Lexie. Bittersweet bliss.

Sofia. Pride

Calliope. Love. Breathless, everlasting, undying love.

There are no other words to describe her feelings for Callie. The heartbreak, the pain, the sadness, the happiness, the love…oh the magnificent love she still feels for her dear Calliope.

She feels a shove on her shoulder only to see a drunken sorority girl stumble her way to the nearest taxi. Arizona shakes her head and gets into a taxi of her own. She gives the driver Alex's address. She watched the city lights go by and thinks about something. Anything. Any topic that will distract from the hellish past few days that she's had. She has to start looking for a new apartment, and meet with her and Callie's lawyers regarding legal issues. She also has a new potential Peds fellow coming within the next week. There was so much to do. She just wishes it would all slow down.

She's brought out of her thoughts once again when the cab drivers say, "Ma'am, we're here."

She pays and thanks him politely and she heads into "Grey Manor" as Alex likes to call it. The lights are off save for the small light in the kitchen, indicating that she's home alone. Arizona sighs as she trudges up the stairs. She makes her way into the bathroom and begins her nightly routine, brushing her teeth, and washing her face. When she is finished, the overwhelming sensation that plagued her outside of the bar returns.

She places her delicate elbows on the edge of the counter and dips her head down below her shoulders to the sink. She tilts her head slightly up so she could see her glistening, cerulean eyes staring right back at her self. Arizona leg starts to ache and she see the newly picked up prescription of her painkillers. Arizona takes the meds and resumes her previous position waiting for the drugs to take effect and cease the dull ache in her leg. She looks back up and waits as she stares at the now empty bottle.


End file.
